How to avoid my child's public temper tantrums?

Categories: Advice

Regardless of age, a public temper tantrum is always difficult for parents to handle. You must both find a way to soothe your child and endure the sometimes overly pointed stares of passersby. These difficult moments are familiar to all parents from time to time, but they shouldn't become your daily routine. So how can you prevent your child's public tantrums? What are the ways to anticipate the crisis and defuse it? How do you manage when anger explodes?

Understanding the causes of temper tantrums

comprendre-les-crises

As with any other problem related to your child, it's important to understand its cause. Only by identifying the origin of the tantrums will you find a way to prevent them.

First and foremost, it's important to understand that emotion management plays a crucial role in these moments. Overwhelmed by their own emotions, the child doesn't know how to express them otherwise, even when they speak without difficulty. Therefore, any frustration can trigger a temper tantrum, such as:

  •           Facing a constraint
  •           Feeling a sense of helplessness, frustration, anxiety, anger, or fear
  •          Not feeling well
  •          Lacking words to express what the child wants
  •           Etc.

As a result, the temper tantrum can be expressed through screaming, crying, punching and kicking, rolling on the ground, holding their breath, throwing objects, etc. Faced with this emotional storm, you must adapt your behavior according to the situation to help the child calm down.

What to do during anger outbursts?

To help your child calm down, assist them in naming the problem and understanding the emotion they're experiencing. The crisis also comes from a lack of understanding, putting words to emotions can help. Also, let them know that you are there for them.

If you try to help your child calm down and they don't listen to you, don't insist. Then take some distance without leaving the room so they don't feel ignored. Wait until they regain some calm before gradually approaching.

If your child tends to hit or throw things during tantrums, move other children and objects away from them during the crisis. Then address the issue once they have calmed down, but do not accept this behavior.

It is pointless to raise your voice during crisis moments, on the contrary. Do your best to keep your calm. If you feel anger rising, take deep breaths to soothe your emotions. Your child will be more inclined to calm down if they sense you are calm as well.

When a child has a temper tantrum, especially in public, it's tempting to give them what they want to defuse the situation. This choice doesn't do you or them any favors. Consider the situation as an exercise to help them learn to manage their emotions.

Take care to remain present for your child and be in their field of vision so they don't feel rejected during the crisis. This could make them even more anxious and not improve the situation.

Preventing public meltdowns

To avoid public meltdowns, there are several methods to apply such as:

  •           Get your child used to frequenting public places
  • Explain to your child where you're going, what you'll do there
  •           Bring a snack and water
  •          Bring some books and toys, for example, if you're going to a waiting room
  •           Communicate with your child so they don't feel neglected
  • Offer them to participate during shopping, for example
  •           Adjust your outing time to your child's level of fatigue, even if it means returning home earlier
  • Learn to recognize the early signs to intervene.

How to handle others' reactions?

A public meltdown can be a very difficult moment for parents who may feel judged. Despite this heavy gaze, it's important to respect your choices in terms of parenting and not give in because of a sideways glance. First of all, keep in mind that no one is perfect, the parents who are glancing at you in the store have probably experienced the same thing. Then, remember the most important thing: your child. What matters in this situation is teaching them to regain their calm and manage their emotions, regardless of what's happening around.

If you have trouble detaching yourself from others' gaze, perhaps you can talk about it with loved ones or even with a professional to no longer feel this weight on your shoulders.

And after the crisis?

A temper tantrum should not be ignored, it's an important event for a child, and it's therefore crucial to be able to talk about it when everyone has calmed down. You can help your child talk about what happened, always with the idea of putting words to their emotions. Also praise them for calming down and value this skill so that they become aware that they are fully capable of getting out of this state on their own.